because when you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything

today in small group, we talked about this book that we have been reading called crazy love, by francis chan. we talked about how we think we have the right to demand answers from God when we don’t see His reasons for things, or how He is so amazing. i mean, he created tons of galaxies and we are just swirling around somewhere in the midst of it all. then we began talking about the cost Christ paid. when He was in the garden, He asked the Father to take this cup from Him if it was His will. thankfully, He drank the cup to it’s dregs. we started discussing the things He must have been feeling. the weight of the world's sins, seperation from His Father. then, a completely new revelation hit me. He was about to experieince the total pain of His beloved children, the ones He created to share a relationship of perfect love with Him, He was about to experience the weight of their hate. our hate. something He should never have had to feel or experience. something that never should have existed. He felt the hate of His precious children. can you dare to imagine that? don’t shy away from it, don’t mildly glance at the thought. respond! stop sitting still when you hear this! we are forgetting that this is GOOD NEWS!!!! when we spoke these things out loud, our group began to just cry. we ended with prayers asking forgiveness, thanking Him, proclaiming how amazing this truth of His love is. we are starting to realize that His love goes deeper than anything. it is the foundation of all truth, because it is what He is. He is love. He is love. and that love is truer than darkness. it’s truer than the fact that the sun will come up tomorrow. when you stand in His presence, there is now no room for arrogance. and thankfully, there is no need for insecurity. praise the Lord.

No Longer Expectation, Only Invitation

God is here. I am overwhelmed by his character. this is big stuff. let me explain. our guest speaker has been speaking about the character of God, and my eyes have been so opened. our God is a relational God. i wish you could just read my notes! in the garden when adam and eve had sinned for the first time and opened the door for death to show it’s ugly face, God came walking in the garden. He knew where they were, He’s God for crying out loud! but He asked them where they wer, because He was giving them the chance to come to Him in humility and say that they messed up, that He was right and they were wrong. when the sin was out in front of them all, when they were naked and shameful, before He banished them from perfection, He took care of their need. He took away the shame of their nakedness, and clothed them out of His love. He was relating to them out of His great love for them, not out of anger.

when i child is learning to walk and falls down after a few steps, the father does not hit them with a baseball bat and say “you should have tried harder! i’ve been showing you how to walk for too long now! you should know how to do this by now!” a loving father picks up his child, spins him around, throws him in the air and catches him saying, “good job! i am so proud of you! i am so so proud of you!” and then he helps him try again. He is relating out of love, not false expectaions. this is the heart of our God, and oh how i long to know Him more. if studying the word like we did today gave me that much joy, i can’t wait to study it more! He’s not expecting us to love him because He said to, He’s inviting us into relationship with Him. and out of the overflow of that wonderful, perfect relational God, we love Him with all that we are. our speaker told us of a time when his wife was recovering from something and was unable to leave her bed. he gave her a whistle to blow whenevere she needed him. after him running to her at every blow, she looked at him and said, “when you serve me like this, it makes me want to follow you anywhere”. this is how God relates to us. can we be humble, and ask Him to renew our minds and how we perceive His character? we dont have to defend Him to ourselves. He is who He is, and He is God grace who invites us to share life with Him. Amen.

we should all drink water, lots of water, everyday

Hello my dear friends!!!!

So I have just finished my second full day her at the great Nashville YWAM base. But don't let the name fool you, the base is actually located 40 min outside Nashville in a tiny town filled with hills, cattle, woods and lots of country accents. The accents are so intense that I have been tempted, on more than one occasion, to stop the person speaking and ask them if their accent was indeed real. Crazy. These past two days have been so busy and so great, I feel like I have been here for so long! Though I miss my family and friends and church, I feel at home here. My room mates are wonderful ladies that want God just as much as I do. In my DTS school, there are 19 students, and we are quickly becoming friends :]. I am learning volumes from them. Sometimes we get to a point where we feel like we must have seen all there is to see in life. Some of you may be laughing at me now, because I'm only 18, this is ridiculous, I know. There is SOOOO much out there that I have yet to experience! And I am learning that very fast! By being with these wonderful, amazing, beautiful people, I'm seeing God in new faces, through new eyes, and through other peoples experiences. I have so much to learn, and I'm so excited to learn it! More to come! I know this wasn't much, but know that God is speaking, God is here, God is on the move, and God is taking us where He's going! Praise the Lord!

packing?

hello reader! so today i am packing for the wonderful unknown that awaits me with my up and coming YWAM experience. someone asked me today if i'm nervous at all. after thinking for a moment and responding that i am nervous to leave my dear friends and family (you know who you are!), i realized what i'm most nervous about. funny enough, it's also the thing i'm most excited about: depending more fully on God my Father. here at home there is always someone to run to before i run to God. now, i understand that i still have my phone (thank God) and computer, so i really won't ever be "alone", not to mention i will be surrounded by others. but i will have to make friends all over again, by myself! and not seeing my everyday faces, i know will challenge me to run to God, because He will be the most familiar one in this new place. He will be the only on that goes with me. to be honest, i find myself a bit fearful at the thought. Lord, meet me here! this whole feeling makes me want to curl up in His arms and remember all the times He's comforted and saved me. the times when He brought me out and lifted me to higher ground. He truly is the higher rock, the only One who never fails. He is who i thought He was, and oh so much more. and while i'm nervous and a little scared of separating from everyone here in indy, i'm so excited to go to a new level with Him. i'm excited to be stretched so that i have no other option than to see Him in all His glory and power. to see that He is enough. oh, He's taking me somewhere alright, and we'll just have to wait and see what happens :]

Love, Erin